As The Avatar Turns…..

Posted in As The Avatar Turns by Tim on the December 19th, 2006

anjene

Lucy Ellis is in the shop wiping down tables, brewing coffee and frying chicken. She is almost ready to open. But little did she know there was a young lady sitting in a green Honda Civic right outside the shop eagerly anticipating the red neon glow of the open sign.

Lucy is thinking about how she really enjoys the days when she get to work in the shop. “This really makes an old lady feel useful”, she think to herself. She almost ready to open but not before she puts her favorite artists CD in the stereo system. The sounds of “Juicy” by Notorious BIG begins to resonate through the coffee house. Lucy is walking over to the door and right before she flips on the open sign, she shakes her her and says, “I can’t believe Java had the nerve to say that Lil’ Wayne was the greatest rapper alive *sigh* these kids today don’t know nothing about hip-hop”.

Anjene Pigford is sitting outside in her green Honda Civic and she finally sees what she’s been waiting for…. Java’s Fried Chicken, Laundry and Coffee house is now open for business. She steps out of her car and starts walking to the door.

Jose starts dialing his phone to call the last girl… the phone starts to ring….

Right before Anjene grabs the door to the Coffee shop, her phone starts to ring. She looks at it and sees it’s Jose. She turns off the ringer and puts the phone back in her purse. She walks in and as she stepping up to the counter the remembers the phrase to use to drop off her money. Java told her to always use the code when making a drop. It needs to sound like an order he told her.

Lucy sees Anjene walk in the shop and thinks, “this little heffer needs to put some clothes on walking around here looking like a Ho” Lucy just smiles and says, “Hey Baby, what can I get for you?”

Remembering the code Anjene looks at Lucy and says really loud, “I need a 3 wings and all the fries you can give me”

Lucy looks puzzled and says, “Baby are you ok….all the fries I can give you? You ain’t getting but so many fries with a 3 piece”

Anjene starts to panic, “i’m sorry, was I supposed to say gimmie instead of give me?”

Lucy sees tears start to form in the girls eyes, “Baby are you ok”

Anjene burst into tear takes the money out of her purse, throws the money on the counter and syas, “tell Java I’m sorry I didn’t have a choice”

Anjene runs to the door….

Lucy is puzzled and starts counting the money…”Damn there is almost $5,000 here…let me call this boy”

Lucy picks up the phone…”Java”

Java coughs…”Yes Mama”

“There was just some skinny girl in here…she said something about giving her some fries, started crying and threw about $5,000 on the counter, said to tell you she was sorry and ran out”Police

“Mama what did you say?”

“Boy are you deaf”
“OK….Listen very carefully mama….I need you to put the money on a bag…and close the shop and get out…..”

Just as Java said the word out he heard a loud crash….

“POLICE….drop the phone and get on the floor”

Java heard his mama scream and then heard a thud….then a dial tone….

—————————————————————-
This was the season finale….see you in 2007….

What y’all lookin’ fo?

Posted in General by Tim on the December 10th, 2006
Keyphrases used on search engines  
73 different keyphrases Search Percent
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As the Avatar Turns….

Posted in As The Avatar Turns by Tim on the December 4th, 2006

Just as the word Pimp leaves Java’s mouth….His mother Lucy Ellis walks into the kitchen.

Image“Boy I just know I didn’t hear you say ‘pimp’ in here in front of this child” said Lucy

Java tried to speak…”Mama I…”

“Mama I nothing…I don’t care if you are 24 years old and paying most of the bills around here….I am still yo’ mama”

He tries again….”But….”

“But nothing you don’t speak such language in this house…I don’t care if you bought it….I will still slap yo head back nappy….do you understand me?”

He gives it one more shot…”Mama I was just…..”

“Boy didn’t you hear me just ask you a question?”

“Yes Mama…”

“Well do you plan to answer it?”

“Yes Mama…”

“Well boy gone and answer it then…do you understand me”

Java is now calling his mama all kinds of bitches….in his head of course…he ain’t no fool.

“Yes Mama, I understand and I am sorry”

“Alright then, that’s what mama likes to hear.  Now you drink that medicine I made you last night, that’s my Great Grand mama’s home remedy.  I know it don’t smell to good that why I keep it in the basement…but it will take care of that cold and fever by tonight.  You probably caught that cold from one of them hookers that call you all hours of the night”

Java thinks…”ok I get cussed out for saying pimp but she can say hooker all day long…she’s lucky shes my mama or she’d get put out”

Lucy is still rambling..”…Esther Franks husband Elmer died two nights ago… Boy how’d you let me talk all this time I need to go open up your place…now drink that medicine like I told you cause I can’t be working for you all the time…me and Nu Nu need to keep up on our stories….don’t we Nu Nu?”

Lucy Ellis leaves to head to the store.  Javaronte Holmes is the owner of Java’s Fried Chicken, Laundry and Coffee house.  It’s been open for three years and business is bigger then ever…who knew people got so hungry when washing clothes.  Yes if it’s been open for three years, so that means he opened it when he was 21…we’ll actually 20…but we’ll get to how all that happened som other time.

After his mother leaves, Java rushes to the phone to call his boy Jose…..

“Yo Jose…”
Image
“What up Holmes…?  Ha Ha Ha”

“Man that ish wasn’t even funny in High School…anyway listen I got a fever an ish so I need you to get in touch with all the girls and tell them not to got to the shop today cause my moms gonna be down there…aight”

“No prob Java…I’ll handle that for you….”

“Cool…  preciate it Jose…I’ll hook you up with some Taquitos and ish from QT tomorrow…Hahahahaha”

“Whatever dude….I’ll Holla”

Java hangs up the phone and breathes a sigh of relief….He could never let his mother in on where his start up money REALLY came from and that the shop was just a cover up for a much bigger operation.

Come back soon for the next episode of As The Avatar Turns

Random thought 12/03/06

Posted in Just Random *ish by Tim on the December 3rd, 2006

Is it me or is Mario Lopez too gay not to be gay?

DAVID BANNER: Video Of Speech @ National Black Caucus Event

Posted in General by Tim on the December 3rd, 2006

NATIONAL BLACK CAUCUS HONORS DAVID BANNER FOR HIS HURRICANE KATRINA RELIEF EFFORTS WITH HUMANITARIAN AWARD

DAVID BLASTS NEWS MEDIA FOR THEIR FOCUS ON HIS LYRICAL CONTENT

Jackson, MS - 500 lawmakers and 200 students were present in Jackson, Mississippi Wednesday for the 30th anniversary of the Black Caucus of State Legislators, at which they honored native rapper David Banner for his humanitarian efforts and work in the community with a Visionary Award. David’s tireless efforts raised over a million dollars in Katrina relief, funds that he made sure went directly to those in need; personally taking food and supplies directly to evacuees immediately following the storm. (more…)